<body> Glamorous Indie Rock & Roll Is What I need <body>



Tuesday, August 21, 2012
2012 hari raya, syawal hijriah 1434

so syawal has arrived and i cant believe i actually dunt look forward to it at all...

this is a short post for what happened...

i cut my own hair shaving the sides cause it was hot and i didn't managed to go to the hairdresser

i thought it was much of a problem but looks like 2 of my relatives hate my new hairstyle

but my uncle made my heart break the way he explained it...

he was so disappointed in me and it made me realise how much hopes he has for me...

he said there isnt a point following trends and everything.. that i should wake up from falling into the pits..

how true was he to tell me off..

whatever he said was so deep that i could not possibly ignore what he had to say...

the fact that he said i was smartest of all the lot.. and knowing what is right and wrong with my own brains, he was utterly disappointed with how i turned out this year...

but how could he call me kucing kurab(balding cat literally and scum of society if taken as a saying)


haiz.. he did woke me up.. saying i shouldnt be a follower for i wasnt a follower from the start..

he knew me best in terms of character.. not even my dad know my deepest character..

he truely woke me up and i will try my best from sleeping again.. my motivation, my fire has been turned on.. no stopping me right now..
=)
Friday, August 10, 2012

so looks like this blog will be back up and running soon.. i cant lose my head without a proper means to let it go.. so it looks like this blog wont go silent after three years.. things happened for a reason and let the reason itself explain for the things that had happened.. but ever since i left ns life.. life has bitten me hard at my backside.. i cant hold on to this in my mind anymore so you my lovely blog shall be my memories.. and even if suddenly the whole internet is wiped out, im am glad you hold my memories that i do not intend to remember.. because thats the reason why i have to keep a straight face and keep living on... cause there isnt a reason for me to hold on to the past and learn to let it go.. for now thats all i can type.. even if by chance someone found you and for some reason wants to dig out more from me.. sadly my reply would be.. i dunt remember.. like all my previous posts.. i didnt remember why i posted them.. but only because i just wanted to let it all go.. cause sometimes we just need to learn to let go..
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
laziness

okays 2 days off is so boring... made me think a lot of things such as my life...

anyways yeah.. i wont be signing on for now.. i want to go back to study after ns.. and reach up to my bachelors.. stupid me for quiting school halfway...

but its okays.. ns is a hurdle for me to clear and once its done.. i can say goodbye to the regiment life.. of how mundane it is..

i wont be called a disappointment or a failure anymore.. i myself represent myself and my community.. i can say all about other ppl.. but its no point if i myself is screwed up.. i am nothing if i compare myself lower.. i should compare higher..
Saturday, May 22, 2010
i realise this after really reflecting over it

parenting is not an easy job.. i realise this after pondering so much after thinking of getting ready to be in a serious relationship where it ends till marriage..

marriage itself is not something that requires only love.. but trust, understanding one another, tolerance to each other bad sides.. time spent with each other.. whether one can tolerate a long absence due to work.. whether one can keep the spark alive for years and not get bored with each other...


i never really knew all of this until i really think through about going serious...

im sick of short term relationships where it ends with miscommunication, misunderstanding, heartbreaks or simply due to stupid acts by either me or the other party..


being an adult is hard.. and i never knew it much untill now.. why now? because im at the point of becoming an adult..

little mistakes in life really leaves a mark on my life and of how emotions and actions can stray you to do a mistake..


temptation and curiosity is the very reason why people make mistakes.. and when this 2 is combined.. obviously it means not able to weigh in the consequences...

and another point i took note is how we are brought up by our surroundings and that includes parenting...

fuh.. i never knew how hard parenting is.. until i recall how i was brought up..

ive lived a life of isolation.. my parents were both working hard.. and they left me in care to grow up by myself.. my sister is 6 years apart from me.. i am not very sociable because i didn't know how to make friends.. i had a wild imagination.. playing with toys and imitating that they are real..

i never knew how to make friends until i entered primary school.. well enough about me.. the topic is about parenting and adulthood..

i thought about being a full fledged adult.. i researched on how much it is to buy a motorcycle, a car, a house, maintenance, sustenance and how many children i wish to have..

and guess what?! a salary of $2000 ain't enough.. i estimate about at least $3500 to live easily and breathe easily in singapore if you choose to live in a 5 room flat.. own a used car ranging to about $80 000 and 2 children...

and that is really freaking me out.. with just me with o lvls.. seriously its not enough to support that kind of lifestyle..

if i really want to have at least to that kind of lifestyle i must work hard.. FROM NOW...

holy mackerel.. totally means i need to put more than a 100% and push over my own limits to further my studies and also to secure a job...


this post by far i think is my longest post.. but there is a part 2 about parenting.. this post serves to be a guide for me to remember about how hard adulthood is..
Sunday, January 24, 2010
so sorry for not updating.. its just damn tiring..

yeah updates... enlisted in 11th december 2009 in maju camp 6sir... mono intake...


so far so good..life is damn boring... im sorry if im not there for you.. but damn 2 days isnt enough to meet up with a lot of ppl....

i have to spend more time with my family.. im pretty lost with the world happenings but i do read the news when im back home...

to dr m in malaysia... you are damn weird! come on.. who in the wide world want to kill their own ppl just so that it will become a reason to hate muslims?! what you say is just unjustifiable...

are you willing to kill innocent lives just to spark a war? and its a war of terrorism not on muslims...

nobody wants war.. everyone wants peace... but sometimes its unavoidable...

so to dr m.. i think you should think carefully before you say smth.. do you want to get into unnecessary trouble?

so i think thats all i can say.. nth else to talk about uhs.. ns life is not smth i can talk about freely anyways.. but damn.. im getting fitter.. and more tired easily...


cherio then...
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
i feel so...

yeah i feel so stupid.. everyone seems to be in a happier place.. while im like a lost duck..

i did things to place myself in this position and yet i feel so helpless..

i should have done this i should have done that.. sheesh i shouldnt be complaining i did what i did and i cannot turn back time..

i wish i had friends.. lasting friends.. not a come and go kinda way..
i wish i didnt make those critical mistakes.. yet i did it..

yeah im a polytechnic drop out why? because im not interested in the course and i was failing.. did i put my utmost effort? yes and no..

yes because i didnt fail intentionally and no because i couldnt harness my full potential because i was not interested.. same effort that i used while taking my o lvls..

didnt really bothered about my examinations in sec 4 especially prelims.. flunked badly for them.. but i got serious when it was the last hurdle to o lvls..

i managed to study hard and smartly.. i used a 100% of my potential.. and managed to attain average b's for all my subjects...

then again whatever.. when i dropout of poly.. i didnt really bother to do good for myself.. i was constantly being blamed by my family, friends.. and also myself... i felt like trash.. felt like why am i the one unlucky?

kept blaming myself..

got into the same shit problem like in my first 2 years in secondary school life..

i mixed with bad company.. yeah lepak buddies as i call them.. wasting time doing stuff like fighting and labeling ourselves as the strongest or smth like that...

well i got caught up again.. i lost myself to the urge of driving.. which i enjoy when im at malaysia.. or when i get the opportunity to do it..

i got the idiot opportunity in singapore.. this time in bukit panjang my home town...

rode the bike on 2 separate incidents.. and the 2nd time i got caught by the police...

again i remember how shitty my luck is.. how stupid i am.. and why did i afford to get caught while i am able to get my license... and also a motorcycle... yet stupidly i got caught.. kept on blaming myself...

now all those around my age have passed their licenses some already have motorcycles.. and there are still in school.. having met new friends.. and yet im here all alone.. going to national service on the 11th of december.. no so called party to say good luck to your 2 years of ns life..

nobody to send me of with smiles.. nobody to greet me at the gate to welcome me back home...

no licence or bicycle... no friends.. no real enjoyment...

and thats why life sux..
Friday, October 23, 2009
a moment of disastrous events

well dunno why i put the title as that but it just sounds nice... lolx!

anyways im tired from solving other people's problem...

first was suhairy then to my older sister.. whats next? can die luhs...

if i was certified as a psychologist/psychiatrist or counselor i would get paid..

but ouhs well if i truly enjoy helping others out.. then its fine by me.. as long as they are happy i'm happy..

anyways updates are.. yes i got caught riding a motorcycle without license and insurance..

im going army on the 11th of dec... erh.. nothing much to say uhs .. ask me then i can tell more.. but for now.. my head is just filled with empty thoughts

MUSIC TO THE

HEART

under construction!
will update when i have time!
SCREAM!!


THAT profile

im approximately 167m
my weight is 55kg
Im 18 going 19
AND i do not have any history of medical complications

the bad side of me is
hot tempered..
sarcastic as always
im crazy
i do hold little grudges
i hate the conception of me being lonely and all

BUT I DO HAVE A GOOD SIDE
INDIE ROCK AND ROLL!
im someone who's willing to cry with you when you're down
i can give good advice
im always there for anyone