Glamorous Indie Rock & Roll Is What I need

Monday, August 25, 2008

and life is all screwed up!

hahaha....

ARDY IS OFFICIALLY CRAZY!!!!

anyways he cant wait to fly his old friend up in the sky and do stunts hehe!

but he will die2 wont crash! because he dah lamer tak terbang lc!

Tomorrow is a big day for ardy... he needs to go hq for live range!
and ardy will be flying after that!....

skali ardy fly sampai high dah takleh gerak betul2...

but anyways he needs to do a loop! so that he can prove he ain't rusty!

will post pictures tmr! with me being a belo trying to fly a fast plane after so long!

Friday, August 22, 2008

and you have no right to say im an attention seeker..

anyways to miza... thanks for finally telling me the truth.... cause the long silence had kept me worried... wondering have i been a bad friend or smth....

ehk you who reads my blog and dun't give me constructive feedback.. you are one heck of a fucking coward you know that?

if you think im an attention seeker and you bloody hell came to my blog and criticize me

does that mean that i got ur attention here?! and furthermore my blog has not been in public eye for a long time... and to think bout you having to come here and put such a comment i think you just got ur attention on me... so idiot realize this, you just got ur attention for my blog.. which mean im not a bloody attention seeker. it bloody hell shows you have nothing better to do you bitch...

and dunt come tagging on my blog again someone cause you can just go fuck urself in a room and dunt disturb me...

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

i hate my fucking life!

I HATE MY LIFE

I HATE MY LIFE!!!!!

I FUCKING HATE MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i just dunt get it... like seriously....

im already a relief teacher.. im working a honest living... and the pay is kebooom!!!

its just not fair why must he always win.. cant he just listen what i say?!

cant he like listen and like fucking take what i say into consideration....!!!!!

YES DAD IM FUCKING TALKING TO YOU!

why cant you just listen....

i already know i wont excel in the final year exam... i lack the interest... but mom i explained to you!!!!

I THOUGHT YOU LIKE COULD RELAY THAT INFORMATION TO HIM.....

i have enough of facing him... enough with his its either his way or the highway....

i know i fucking kept lots of secrets from you... but for what purpose?! im like trying to make you happy... thats all...

i really feel like an earthworm who dug so deep inside yet still surface because of heavy rain...

and then dying slowly because of the sun's heat after the rain....

and its killing me slowly... i dunt need you to tell me whats right or wrong... my demands is never fulfill and why the heck must i be fulfilling yours?!!!

what to boast in front of ur friends?

to use me as a legazy of how you "nurtured" me to turn out how i will be in the future?!!

you fucking dunt help me in anyway... its like living the life you wanted... the life you will never have... and the life that i dunt wish to have...

a different me totally... you're creating a "you" into me...

and you really want me to quit sch and like just work?
AS A TEACHER WITH QUALIFICATIONS ONLY OF THAT AN O LVL STUDENT?

im working cause i want to fund my camera in which you never will buy for me...

i love taking pictures!! but a camera phone and a compact dunt help my adrenaline rush of taking pictures... like really... i dunt feel like connected with the picture...

when im handling a dslr it really connects to me... the picture comes out real rather than a dream...

i just wanna work to fund my camera to splurge on things i want to buy when you cant afford.. to live a life independently... and who noes i'll be like financially free!!!!!!!!!!

im not going to be a burden to you..
if you want me to get away from ur freaking life i can like simply kill myself... and im not afraid of death cause death means im free from you and you are free from me... like seriously...

and answering to god?

my answer is this... i have had my patience tested to the limit.. i have been mutilated by him i lost my sense of pride because of him... and he seems not to be humane....

im not god nor the prophet... im just a plain human... i can never be too patient... i can endure the pain in the heart that he gives me.. i just really feel my heart is stabbed by a knife millions of times... and i believe part of it is because of what i did...

to try to get his attention.. to feel loved... to have more time with him... a lil bit of affection wouldn't hurt right sir? right?

DAD IM REALLY SICK OF UR WAYS... I DUNT WISH TO END MY LIFE BUT IF I MUST TO RUN AWAY FROM LIFE... IM GLAD TO TAKE ALL THE PUNISHMENT GOD HAS FOR ME...
CAUSE I KNOW I CAN FEEL THE PAIN THAT HURT ME MORE IS UR ACTIONS!

life is totally wrecked!

yeah actually to tell you the truth..

i didnt go to any of my final year exams... i dunno why i did it.. maybe i was drunk..

but now im just afraid of what happens now...

cause like it means i'll be getting kicked out of school.. or repeat... argh! why the fucking confusion here...!!!!!

what happen to the spur that i had for studying... it seems gone!!!!

like what the fuck.. its fucking not right ... and im doing it again.... well done ardy well done... it looks like you're repeating what you did in secondary school and thinking that a miracle will happen again...

and fyi i made it through o levels by sheer luck ... i dunt believe i studied well enough...

but now in polytechnic im doing way much shit that what i did in secondary school..

what will my fate tell me?

my heart and mind says that i chose the wrong course while i know that yeah it is the wrong course...
i wish for smth more exciting.. something i can love and do at the same time...

whats wrong ardy whats the fucking problem with you?! why cant you like study?!

why are you like ignoring school as if its nothing?!!!!!!

someone or god help me!

guide me through the right path...

tell me am i wrong?!

tell me what is right!

and tell me what the fuck is wrong with me!

IM TOTALLY CONFUSED SHIT RIGHT NOW!

MUSIC TO THE

HEART

under construction!
will update when i have time!

SCREAM!!

THAT profile

im approximately 167m
my weight is 55kg
Im 18 going 19
AND i do not have any history of medical complications

the bad side of me is
hot tempered..
sarcastic as always
im crazy
i do hold little grudges
i hate the conception of me being lonely and all

BUT I DO HAVE A GOOD SIDE
INDIE ROCK AND ROLL!
im someone who's willing to cry with you when you're down
i can give good advice
im always there for anyone