<body> Glamorous Indie Rock & Roll Is What I need <body>



Saturday, December 27, 2008
update!

okays to san! erh.. i only update when i feel like too! not update everyday! no fun luhs! and i aint got the time...

but since now i got the time i shall update...

hmm firstly...

i dunt feel loved... by everyone.. my friends, my family.

i just feel so alone...

ever felt so lonely when you're sitting in the train all alone and you see couple's hugging of showing their affection?

then when you walk you see couple's holding hands and how you wish there was someone right beside you to at the very least accompany you?

well yeah thats what i feel... no i dunt have many friends....

i dunt even have lepak buddies.. so why keep asking the same question whether i have friends or not?

erh i despised being looked at like a freak... im not emo sheesh! but could the staring stop?

so what im alone?!

AND I HATE IT WHEN PPL SAY I LOOK GOOD AND YET HOW COME I AINT GOT A GIRLFRIEND!!!!!

no i am a nerd with glasses and read books ! but yeah i wish i was loved...

thats all i asked you for... haiz... and yet you left me.. and not replying any of my msgs...

*refers to she who knows im referring to her*

nvr mind... next year 2b license
HONDA NSR SP
OR
YAMAHA R125

and then NATIONAL SERVICE!

well maybe my rifle and my bike will be my girlfriend! (not to mention an ibanez bass! and a CANON 450D OR 40D)

indulgense of expensive hobbies! thats all i need!
AND YES IM FREAKING SINGLE!
Friday, December 19, 2008
let the hate appear again!

hmm....

lets see... is it fun to like criticize people's life? whats the point of leaving tags that are so mean?


seriously.. i have seen so many people hating me.. and you wanna join the list?

go ahead... i know i have more enemies than friends... but my friends are the one that stay true to me...

i dunt need to feel ashamed to be called underage.. cause yeah if you notice... im 17 going 18 you fucking idiot...

so shouldnt i be going out with girls my age? rather than older ones?

sheesh...

stupidity of human beings....
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
time for an update!

k life is getting weirder by the minute....

its like more and more people are trying to know me..

find out stuff bout me... acting as if they know me


but whats the point?


see when i wanted to befriend you... you acted as if im not even alive... you made me feel invincible... am i see-through?

its not as if im being a bastard or anything... but if you made an enemy with me.. and i remember...
then i would bloody hell keep you in my hate list...

its only fair right?

and girls... stop it sia... if i dunt like you... there isnt a point trying to get me in a relationship...

see my heart belongs to one... one which i hope one day will love me...

so no point in trying to get me...

im not being harsh but nah... i want to move on slowly...

i'm going to be enlisted next year... which means i may not have time for you...

but if you are willing to sacrifice a lot for me...

prove it to me.. cause im kinda sick of love...

its so unfair and its never the bitter sweet thing you see in the movies...

Quote from me.... if you choose to love me.....

Patience and hard work will get you anywhere and anyone you wish to be with...

So WORK HARD!
Monday, December 15, 2008
so many weird kind gestures

okays seriously.. my life is getting weird...

seriously...

last friday i had vodka....

and on sunday i had scotch....

woi! super high siak me......

well only true friends do help me in this way... lovely...

dunno why it seems they want me to be happy when deep in my heart im mostly sad...

cant really noe why.. but i did try my best to forget her...

but im doing it slowly.. cause i have faith.. that one day we will be together..

if it never happens.. i dunno whether im even gonna find love again... but ouh well... if its meant to be its meant to be... weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee......
Saturday, December 13, 2008
my heart feels different..

i cant live a lie nor pretend that i am okay...

my heart is just saying something out loud... its missing someone.. it yearns for someone...


seriously i cant move on as easy as i thought it would be...

i cant move on without you.. my life seems to be put to a stop just like that...

i love her loads... and i cant seem to be moving ahead...

you made me feel loved after 1 and a half years of being single... you made me feel special...

so how am i to move on?

i tried.. but i just feel different... like totally..

simply i really love reena...

even if we're not together.. at least im still her friend.. and im glad i can at the very least be a part of her life..

if only she knows how painful it is for me to just let her go... but whats done is done....

lets just hope the future brings something good..
Friday, December 12, 2008
great day it was

DAMN its so so long since i drank vodka... and im like having a pretty bad hangover sia...


so great to get rid of the pain while being drunk... nth was a problem to me....


but no im not drinking like heavily.. i know my limits.....


but had a not entirely bad drinking day...

just SHHH!!!! nobody needs to know what happen while i was drunk =D TEEHEE!
Thursday, December 11, 2008
not gonna say this but im gonna say it...

IM SICK OF LIFE!

thanks to all the false love to all the fucking fakeness of love....

shall not be falling in love.. cause im tired..

tired of being dumped...

tired of being the one dumping...

and tired of girls...

*shall i turn gay?*

LOLX

KIDDING OKAYS?!


hmm.. girls im so sorry but im unavailable.. but friends would be nice =D

VOWED PROMISE WITH MY HEART AND SOUL!!!

I will not be attached for i dunno how long.. but yeah no thank you!

*PROMISE ACTIVATED FROM TODAY 11/12/08 to at least after my ns*after bmt*! at least one year plus ...
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
argh im in love !!!




hey peepz! im so in love with this new 2008 bike...

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its so lovely...


but siak! the price.. aduhai! can buy aprilla rs 125

the bike im referring to is yamaha r125!!!!

damn its hot! the pics will already show how easy to fall in love with....

i seen it i think around october but mistook it for the r6! but now i know there's such a bike r125!!!!


kiwek machine price 10k.... plus insurance and other stuff it can cost up to 15k... somemore when i buy the bike i probably just passed my 2b licence!

PLUS THE COST OF MY LICENCE?! lets put it at 5k....

MAMPOS! ITS LIKE 20k plus dollars! can die sia saving up...

but will start saving up right at this instance! KIMAK!!! CAN DIE!!!

will tell you guys when my saving reaches the estimated amount! weeeeeee! then i get the bike and all will camwhore!

if i cant get it.. sp lor! terpakse!
Monday, December 8, 2008
feeling better.

whoops! i may be feeling happy right now. i have others who care for me. Now life's easier to go through day by day... cause i have someone else in life. and i totally forgot bout her. and she is......


MY GUARDIAN ANGEL!

how sweet of her to come rescue me at a time like this... im so glad i met her.. or else i might have just gone down to the ashes with the rest of the devils..

thank goodness you're there for me...

anyways! LIFE GOES ON!!!!!!


REENA I DUNT NEED YOU IN MY LOVE LIFE BUT YOU CAN ALWAYS BE MY FRIEND BUT IF YOU ARE ABLE TO FORGIVE MY HORRID ACTS!

BUT IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO BE FRIENDS I UNDERSTAND..

the image of what i did could send a lot of guilt and negativity to anybody...

ANYWAYS.... I HOPE YOU WILL ENJOY LIFE MORE WITHOUT ME BEING PART OF IT!
Sunday, December 7, 2008
life has to go on

haiz.. sadly life has to go on..

no matter what happens.. i'll move on...

but now i will not entertain girls.. nor fall in love again...

so sorry but im staying single and not intending to be attached anymore..

love sucks! maybe in the end my parents will matchmake me with someone suitable
Friday, December 5, 2008

i cant let you go! you are always on my mind.. i love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! REENA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



i cant seem to move on.. dammit! dammit! dammit! haiz haiz haiz!!!!

friday prayers...

"Tuhan. Tolonglah hambamu yang sedang sesat. Bagiku kekuatan bagi mengatasi masalah ini. Aku cinta dia dan ku tak ingin melepasi peluang ini. Allah tolonglah kaburkan permintaan ini. Aku yakin dia jodohku dan aku akan selalu bersamanya dari dunia ke akhirat. Cintaku suci. Amin"

thats what i prayed for... thats what i felt reena... i cant let you go.. cause in all my heart.. i know you are the one for me.. i will love you till eternity.. will you give me a chance?
all i wanted was to be loved...

maybe i was wrong to have played around with something called life and death....

corrupted my mind for a moment while a devil took temporary control over me...

nobody deserves to hear the wicked side of me.. the unsane part of me..

the dark side of me.. i am wronged.. i have never believe in a maybe... i never believed friends could turn out to smth blissful... cause from my experience... all my best friends.. stay as friends.. and while i try to get their heart im turned away like as if i was a flyer being distributed...


reena im really sorry.. i never meant to play with something i knew was crazy.... my friends dunt know anything.. really2 i never told them anything except the fact that you left me... and i needed someone to listen me out.. before my dark side surfaces... i needed you to talk to me...

to settle it out... rather than texting.. cause i know we might not be able to relay all the information just by texting..

what i did was wrong.. and no i didnt do anything harsh... as you see it was just a cut...


and that cut was to lure a certain toyol i played with when i was younger...


it was my companion back then... but it never has a taste of my blood... it temporarily corrupts my mind... to simply get me high... its dangerous but i had it under control...

but why? why dunt you just believe my love was real?

am i wrong to say that? i never want to leave you... i really love you..

im not stupid you know.. i never do stuff that will kill me.. i respect ur decision to be friends... but there's no turning back for me... if ever there was.. i dunt think i will be with you...

i move on... with life... with love... but i bring all my scars with me... proud of it.. never wanting to repeat the same old mistake...

what reputation do you have? i dare question you..

what bout me?

my friends... they trusted me to be with you forever never to hurt you....

they want us to be together lasting forever

what bout all the other girls i pushed aside?

why would i admit to the whole world im attached to you?

why would i be so uptight to spend my every moment with you....

didnt i prove myself enough?

ever since we were together i never text any other soul except you... i never called out any other person... why do i always have you in my heart and soul??

why must every moment i pause and think how you are... what you might not like... think about what i do before pursuing anything.. i never stayed out late... i never woke up late just so i could meet you on time...

i sacrifice all this... just to be a better person.. to gain ur trust... to make it go with the flow... but no you chose not to continue but to revert to friends... i was taking my time to know you in a relationship... i can tell you anything you wish to know without having to think twice...

cause you're my only one... my secrets cannot be a secret when im with you.. but as friends.. i cant just expose myself openly to you... whats the point of telling you everything when we're friends? you want me to be ur friend when at one point you're attached with another guy do you know i will feel so lonely.. so in despair.. so hopeless thinking that what ive done is just thrown to the side... and in the end.. i get nothing out of it...

FRESHLY CUT ON 5/12/08
TIME 1.10am

THANKS REENA YOU NEVER CHOOSE TO BELIEVE MY LOVE WAS REAL!

ITS OVER! haiz..... THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES....
Thursday, December 4, 2008
okays i really need to update!



This is the wonderful nikki with me!

This is what i call flexible

Seriously i am thinking of you reena!

The two wonderful girls! *SCIFER AND DARLZ PROPERTY!*

Truely a double date!

BROTHERS POSING!

LOOK AT DARLZ MUSCLES!

The emo side of me takes over!

KAES COUPLE SHOTS! I CANT SMILE I KNOW!
BUT ENJOY THE PICS!

MUSIC TO THE

HEART

under construction!
will update when i have time!
SCREAM!!


THAT profile

im approximately 167m
my weight is 55kg
Im 18 going 19
AND i do not have any history of medical complications

the bad side of me is
hot tempered..
sarcastic as always
im crazy
i do hold little grudges
i hate the conception of me being lonely and all

BUT I DO HAVE A GOOD SIDE
INDIE ROCK AND ROLL!
im someone who's willing to cry with you when you're down
i can give good advice
im always there for anyone