<body> Glamorous Indie Rock & Roll Is What I need <body>



Thursday, April 30, 2009
post dedicated to passerby

so its kinda irritating for you to come over to my blog and teach me religion...

man... aku dah belajar akidah luhs.. ingat aku ni aper? kosong? takder pelajaran tentang agama?

for you to remind me its fine... but you dunt need to keep on making it a big fuss and a whole point that you should be reminding me because its a good muslim kinda thing...

lets not talk about religion aite?

i believe if one person cuts.. everyone close to him/her will console her.. prevent him/her from doing more.. encourage him/her that there are better things in life...

so its motivation you should give.. not tell that its the wrong thing to do... and put in religion to play...

come on in this times... tell me how many people are not afraid of doing sins? but whether they repent.. thats totally a diff story...

dunt talk as if you are some sort of ustaz/ustazah.. even my ustaz dunt even talk about sins to that extend.. defending himself.. even though he knows he said the right thing...

and if you're so the religious... you wouldnt be so pissed of because i scold vulgarities to you... and beri salam and ckp tak jwb dosa... aiyo.. what are you? a child? to express anger in a diff form?

if truly you are so pure.. you wouldnt be reading my blog... sheesh.. and mind your own buisness... pergi katam quran.. kalau dah katam quran then baca lagi.. hafal quran... selawatlah banyak2... doa banyak2
jgn tinggalkan 5 waktu... and jgn luhs buang masa kepada hal ehwal lain org...

IF YOU SO THINK WHAT I DO IS SO WRONG.... PRAY TO ALLAH THAT ONE DAY I WILL SEE A DIFF LIGHT... THE RIGHT LIGHT...
because i have strayed from religion....

sheesh... wanna come and teach me about religion.. gosh.. you think i never went madrasah is it? never read the quran is it? aiyo.. you are so bad to think that way..

HMMPH!
Monday, April 27, 2009
updates...

so after 42 hours of sleep... i had my sleep.. but it was only for a moment.. i slept at 6 and had to wake up at 9....

so 3 hours of sleep in the end...



i dunno what to do anymore.... i dunno what am i aiming for anymore.....


i dunt feel loved no more....

i feel hated.... i feel alone again.....

why?.... dunt ask... i dunt know

im very very confused.....


give me a few days to think it through... let the thoughts go away...


let me really feel what i am feeling... now its just nothing to feel...


just a feeling of lost.... after all dydy v understands her... and according to her.. i never understood her from the start....

am i that vain? to boastful? just thinking bout myself?

is that it? really2 am i like that? have i not ask you things...


try to know you better? talking that much.. do you know me... the real me?


cause i dunt think so... ouhs well.. i really2 dunno what to say already...













let life take its path....


kalau jodoh.... i will get you....

kalau tak jodoh... ouhs well jodoh lum datang lagi....







i leave it to god's hand to him that i pray to.. May the All Mighty Allah show me the path...

AND NO! SUICIDE IS NOT SMTH I WILL DO....

its a sin! one of the biggest sin in quran....


ouh well.... take care peeps! working tmr...
Sunday, April 26, 2009
random shit

only your love one can hurt you the most....


and you can hurt your love one the most too....


ouhs well... shit happens... haiz....
next time be more upfront

okays ardy committing suicide today on 26th april 2009...

to those who know and care bout ardy... now is the time not to care cause he doesnt want to care about himself...


so simple reasoning explained....

FUCK OFF!


any disagreement please call 999 to find ardy at the top level of block 432


kalau saper2 percaye and call 999 aku ckp kau memang selenger... ader no hp aku buat aper kan?



this time... its not about me... its about death.... and im embracing every single second of it.....


if you see me in the orbituaries do contact my family and send some condolences....

thanking you...


ARDY DYING OUT!
so in the end its just a sad ending

after 39 hours of no sleep.. got to know the truth...


ouhs well life going to be insanely normal again...

cuts here i come!
Saturday, April 25, 2009
32hrs of no sleep

well couldnt sleep.. been up since you offline dear... and now im off to work.. haiz...


take care peepz!
so i screwed up again?

so if you ever read this post at least i know you care.....


aqilah...


i planned everything on the first of may... everything... especially for you....

i know you said you dunt like walking so much in the sun if we're going out.. so i planned it so that there wouldnt be much walking....

i said jek i'll be bring laptop and all.. but nah.. i think i want to spend that time i had to talk to you...

there isnt a point for me to boast bout myself on that day...

i want to make that day a memorable one for you...


i planned to bring you to marina barrage for seeing the view over there....

i never went there before.. and if i wanted to go there i wanted to go with someone special....


then after marina barrage we're going esplanade... maybe to go to 2nd lvl... there's a guitar shop there maybe you wanna take a look and stuff....

then we lepak at the esplanade steps.. and talk... thats what i planned uhs..
then after that dah lapar or smth go eat at marina square.. after marina square we'll be walking towards peninsula...

after all my sayang is a film enthusiast... so i thought it would be wonderful to bring her there and see all the dslr's and slr's over there...


after that.. final destination is brass basah complex... sayang might wanna see if there is any metal picks... or see the guitars... after all swee lee has everthing when it comes to guitars...

haiz.. and after that i thought we could catch a movie... X-men Origins.. Wolverine...

at bugis.. and it costs 6 at the new shopping mall...

and after everything i'll send her home....

haiz....

it was meant to be a surprise... but then guess it never happen...

if only i wasnt ignorant and being a bastard...... egoistic.....

HAIZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AQILAH IM REALLY2 sorry.. i was being egoistic just now... i never meant to bombard you back.. you got it right bout sp... and dear please dunt leave me now....

if truely it was all about me.. i wouldnt have remembered you're favorite colour was monochrome

you're studying in kl graphic design


your favourite sweet was chuppa chups...

you like photography.... as much as i do...


you like bikes... if you can take a license for bikes you would....


you're driving a proton gen2


you have sch on tues and weds... but weds can change to thursday....


and the question to whether you would go to a gig or beach...


i choose gig because you are passionate about music... you write your own compositions...


your own songs...

your birthday is on the 4th of february....

if you had to pick between digital and film photography

you would have picked film.. because to you its the best!



haiz...


whatever it is.. i know you are shy by nature....



please dear im crying my heart out typing out this blog....



you said once you're in you're not allowed out...

why dear? why are you letting me go now? why are you not giving me a second chance?


have i hurt you in any ways before? please dear answer me this.. if i did.. then i'm sorry...

if it seems that everything is about me.. haiz..

then give me a chance to know you more... let time pass by....

i love you....

and now you just left me with a broken heart.....

with my bestie gone.. with you gone.. and now im truely alone....

alone... when i was so afraid of being alone... now im all alone again...
















haiz...



































but whatever it is... i promised 1st may i will not smoke a single puff at all..
and i swear to it.....
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
its all about her... part 1

never have i loved someone as much as you... to think that i've fallen so deeply and madly in love with you.. its so unexplainable....

maybe i'll try to put in in this post... as much as i can....


and huss... now i get how you feel when you loved that girl so much.....


its just that everything about her is what i love.. lets not talk about looks aite...

cause every person has a different taste....

but her attitude... that is what matters the most


i know you waited for me today... and i feel so guilty so as to make you wait for me darling...

only today have i not been able to chat with you properly....

and im so saddened by the fact i made you wait that i just couldnt hold back my tears....

and and its not like as if its nice to make you wait for hours just so that you could speak to me.. its touching yes.. and thats one of the things i love about you

but i want you to have a good night sleep too...

i've been depriving you of a good night sleep.. and i myself am deprived of sleep... its taking a toll on my body... but i seem not to care....

ive been having this splinting headache since morning of yesterday... and im still having it now.... but i never told you ... because i do not want you to worry bout me....

i seem to be so committed to you...

never have i really wait for a girl... and im patiently waiting for you...

and if ever 1st may was to come... i want to so sincerely hug you and give you a kiss on the cheeks...

why am i constantly thinking bout you?

everytime i eat... i would want to know that you have eaten too...

if i were to rest... i hope you have rested too...

and everytime i see couples walking and holding hands... i just envy how they can be so close to their loved one.. but i cant be close to her....

for those who havent knew that im in love.... and basically have no clue....

she lives in kl....

so if you think im just being stupid... and saying why not find a girl in singapore...

its just because i love her so much....

who cares if i cant see her everyday... the important thing is that i stay true to her....

it takes a lot of commitment to actually do this.. and a lot of love...

i want to endure this physical absence... so that i can treasure her more than ever...

and if i truely love her.. its not impossible for me to go there myself...

*but have to convince maha convince my parents that she is the one for me and i need my passport so that i can see her*

and i planned lots of things ahead of time..

like getting a prepaid to call her everyday if i could...

text her everyday! that is a must.....

but one thing for sure.... im gonna go up to kl every fortnight to see her..

thats the very least i could do....


and if 1st may was to come.. i would quit smoking... like totally stop...
if that day never comes... i would still quit on the 1st of may
thats my promise to her...

okays luhs i think got to update another post... so i'll have this post as part 1...
Thursday, April 16, 2009
i promised pictures.. and here there are.. no captions or edits anywhere!







Sunday, April 12, 2009
so its time to update..

WELL! i went to malaysia on friday and overnight over till saturday...

kind of cool going back to the wilderness... well not much of wild in there..
but
at least in a place where you can hear the crickets and see the stars at night..

so actually i went there with my family and my father's friend's family...

and his friend's daughter is actually my friend... who went to the same pri sch as me
and also secondary school....

im not disclosing her name cause i promise not to put her name up in the blog..

and to keep it a secret among the lovely assholes of secondary school mates ! ahahahaha

hmm so day one... was great.... we went around finding the perfect chalet...

*perfect as in cheap
*perfect as in location
*perfect as in the size of the chalet
*perfect as in cleanliness ahahaha!

but driving in malaysia is so damn fun and scary at the same time....

its like nobody will catch you for speeding at 180km/h... yes my father went up till 180km/h...

but the problem was the holes in the tarmac(roads)

i was sitting beside my father.. so i had to look out for lots of stuff

*holes in the tarmac
*cars either from behind or front
*cats KOMODO LIZARDS monkeys cows sheep chicken and any life thats on the road

so yeah it was fun... OUH2! and my father found out im smoking ahahahahaha

he doesnt approve it.. but he doesnt stop me from smoking...

he only has one criteria though... never smoke in front of him...

but if its in front of him.. must be 10 feet away or more
(restraining order i guess)

and my mum's criteria is.. never smoke in front of her friends or my father's friend...

family wise.. everybody knows i smoke.. so there is no need to hide it... ahahahahahaha

so my family and i went to sedili... i have no idea if i spelled that right or wrong.. but should be right... ahahaha

and we went to this chalet/resort at mutiara motors..
and the rooms were named after cars...

*what do you expect when the name is mutiara motors

so when we reached the first thing on my mind was the beach!

i love playing in the sea..... so i wanted to check the beach myself..

in the end i actually went to the sea with my father's friend's family instead of my own family...

well what do you expect... im loveable! ahahahahaha

they treated me like family and im glad....

sometimes being treated to much with discipline and commitment sux!

at least i had my fun there!

ouhs! and i was burried in sand! and the honours go to my sec sch friend =D!

well she took pictures of me i think.. but she never seem to find me online.. so i wonder when will i get the pictures =(... ahahaha

then i just realised smth... malaysia is a cat friendly nation! i see cats everywhere we stop! and when were reached mutiara motors...

i saw a kitten!!!!!!!!! ARGH KITTENS! its been so long since ive seen kittens..
and the kittens was so the uber manja!
its so adorable and cute..

it seems i spend most of my time cuddling it or playing with it...

and it loves to play hide and seek and catching! ahahaha.. when i run it would chase me..
and when it runs i chase her! ahahaha cute sia!!!

and it follows me wherever i go... =D!

so the cute! i cant stand her cuteness... luckily i have pictures with her... will upload it tmr!

READ THIS ENTRY FIRST ALRIGHT?!
then the pictures will come

MUSIC TO THE

HEART

under construction!
will update when i have time!
SCREAM!!


THAT profile

im approximately 167m
my weight is 55kg
Im 18 going 19
AND i do not have any history of medical complications

the bad side of me is
hot tempered..
sarcastic as always
im crazy
i do hold little grudges
i hate the conception of me being lonely and all

BUT I DO HAVE A GOOD SIDE
INDIE ROCK AND ROLL!
im someone who's willing to cry with you when you're down
i can give good advice
im always there for anyone