<body> Glamorous Indie Rock & Roll Is What I need <body>



Monday, May 11, 2009
im so sick with life

its so pestering..
okays i may have talked bout anugerah really just as a whole....
nobody knew how i felt deep inside..

and i think this is bothering me right now...

in life.. i do not have any supporting pillars.. most of the time.. im all alone..

friends dunt talk as if you are my supporting pillars now... before you may have been... but now.. i dunt see anyone by my side....


family? haik puii... ive been surviving on my own physically and mentally

money wise yah thats where they're good at... they loan me money.. take up all my measly pay.. and start screwing me how measly my pay is...

im cant find a full time job right now.. with my qualifications.. where can i go? and if i do.. im still about to enter ns...

if i could i would have taken a higher pay job.. but how? everytime i find a higher pay job its somewhere in town...

and my parents keep saying dunt waste money on transportation...

then seriously i dunno what am i expected of.. im drained mentally and physically.. i really cant plan anything... because everything seem so darn impossible...

and ouhs i was talking bout anugerah right? and supporting pillars?

i audition for myself.. all alone.. with no supporting pillars.. when i see everybody with their mum's or dad's or at the very least with a bunch of friends...

at the very least for them to say good luck through sms.. or call me check how did it go...

*only one friend texted me... and thats nizam.. he's the only soul who knew what time i auditioned.. he was the only one who wished me luck and he was the only one who apologized sincerely for not being there for me*

i couldnt sing... i had nobody to sing to... nobody heard me.. when i sang it all for them...

so if a simple national audition and im already ignored.. what about my freaking problems?

wait! i already did voice out my problems.. needed a shoulder to lean on.. needed a listening ear.. but to no avail.. no one was there for me..

so shows how much my life sucks right?

and i guess i ought to be critisized cause after all im a very mean person who disses anybody who attacks me personally... and i'll be all sarcastic and hurtful...

then learn this shit right now... stop giving me advices... i just need someone to cling to right now..
Sunday, May 3, 2009
so it was a day to be remembered

so on sat 2nd may 2009.... at 6am.. was wide awake... preparing for anugerah

brought stuff.. and also was neatly dressed... styled hair.. wore eyeliner.. just a tad not heavy metal kinda way...

and lots and lots of perfume!

reached simei at 9... dammit its 2 hrs trip from bukit panjang.. shit sia


then the que... OH MY GOD! it was so freaking long!!!!!!


so had to que.... in the end... reached registration point at around 2... so imagine standing under the sun since 9... with long sleeve on.. and no shade...

thats how it was... dammit!

and after the long awaited wait.. got num.. 0463....

AND GUESS WHAT! I STILL HAD TO WAIT TILL 8.30pm... MCM SIAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



lolx... and decided to go to downtown east and play arcade...

DAMMIT JUBEAT AT DOWNTOWN HAS HOGGERS! THEY FREAKING PUT 4 credits in advance... and not giving others a chance...

and i thought bugis was bad... at least at bugis they put 1 credit in advance...

then wait till someone puts 1 credit in advance.. if no one does that.. they will resume..

okays2 thats all about downtown east...

back to anugerah.. so went back.. and was nervous like shit... even though it was air conditioned i was sweating like hell...

nerves.. ahahah

before me there's those who sang real nice and good.. but it seems they cant go in.. WHY?! isnt that unreal... gosh.. and those okays2 got in...


and im not that good..

aww gosh... the judges are real mean...


lots of nasty comments... lucky i never got bad comments or anything.. lolx...

so anugerah is over for me! all the best to those you made it to next round!

FAZRUL!!!!!!!!!!! IM BEHIND YOU!!! ALL THE BEST FOR YOU!


alright thats all .....

take care folks!

and to passerby... if i was uber mean.. im sorry =(...

MUSIC TO THE

HEART

under construction!
will update when i have time!
SCREAM!!


THAT profile

im approximately 167m
my weight is 55kg
Im 18 going 19
AND i do not have any history of medical complications

the bad side of me is
hot tempered..
sarcastic as always
im crazy
i do hold little grudges
i hate the conception of me being lonely and all

BUT I DO HAVE A GOOD SIDE
INDIE ROCK AND ROLL!
im someone who's willing to cry with you when you're down
i can give good advice
im always there for anyone