<body> Glamorous Indie Rock & Roll Is What I need <body>



Tuesday, November 10, 2009
i feel so...

yeah i feel so stupid.. everyone seems to be in a happier place.. while im like a lost duck..

i did things to place myself in this position and yet i feel so helpless..

i should have done this i should have done that.. sheesh i shouldnt be complaining i did what i did and i cannot turn back time..

i wish i had friends.. lasting friends.. not a come and go kinda way..
i wish i didnt make those critical mistakes.. yet i did it..

yeah im a polytechnic drop out why? because im not interested in the course and i was failing.. did i put my utmost effort? yes and no..

yes because i didnt fail intentionally and no because i couldnt harness my full potential because i was not interested.. same effort that i used while taking my o lvls..

didnt really bothered about my examinations in sec 4 especially prelims.. flunked badly for them.. but i got serious when it was the last hurdle to o lvls..

i managed to study hard and smartly.. i used a 100% of my potential.. and managed to attain average b's for all my subjects...

then again whatever.. when i dropout of poly.. i didnt really bother to do good for myself.. i was constantly being blamed by my family, friends.. and also myself... i felt like trash.. felt like why am i the one unlucky?

kept blaming myself..

got into the same shit problem like in my first 2 years in secondary school life..

i mixed with bad company.. yeah lepak buddies as i call them.. wasting time doing stuff like fighting and labeling ourselves as the strongest or smth like that...

well i got caught up again.. i lost myself to the urge of driving.. which i enjoy when im at malaysia.. or when i get the opportunity to do it..

i got the idiot opportunity in singapore.. this time in bukit panjang my home town...

rode the bike on 2 separate incidents.. and the 2nd time i got caught by the police...

again i remember how shitty my luck is.. how stupid i am.. and why did i afford to get caught while i am able to get my license... and also a motorcycle... yet stupidly i got caught.. kept on blaming myself...

now all those around my age have passed their licenses some already have motorcycles.. and there are still in school.. having met new friends.. and yet im here all alone.. going to national service on the 11th of december.. no so called party to say good luck to your 2 years of ns life..

nobody to send me of with smiles.. nobody to greet me at the gate to welcome me back home...

no licence or bicycle... no friends.. no real enjoyment...

and thats why life sux..

MUSIC TO THE

HEART

under construction!
will update when i have time!
SCREAM!!


THAT profile

im approximately 167m
my weight is 55kg
Im 18 going 19
AND i do not have any history of medical complications

the bad side of me is
hot tempered..
sarcastic as always
im crazy
i do hold little grudges
i hate the conception of me being lonely and all

BUT I DO HAVE A GOOD SIDE
INDIE ROCK AND ROLL!
im someone who's willing to cry with you when you're down
i can give good advice
im always there for anyone