Wednesday, August 20, 2008
i hate my fucking life!
I HATE MY LIFE
I HATE MY LIFE!!!!!
I FUCKING HATE MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i just dunt get it... like seriously....
im already a relief teacher.. im working a honest living... and the pay is kebooom!!!
its just not fair why must he always win.. cant he just listen what i say?!
cant he like listen and like fucking take what i say into consideration....!!!!!
YES DAD IM FUCKING TALKING TO YOU!
why cant you just listen....
i already know i wont excel in the final year exam... i lack the interest... but mom i explained to you!!!!
I THOUGHT YOU LIKE COULD RELAY THAT INFORMATION TO HIM.....
i have enough of facing him... enough with his its either his way or the highway....
i know i fucking kept lots of secrets from you... but for what purpose?! im like trying to make you happy... thats all...
i really feel like an earthworm who dug so deep inside yet still surface because of heavy rain...
and then dying slowly because of the sun's heat after the rain....
and its killing me slowly... i dunt need you to tell me whats right or wrong... my demands is never fulfill and why the heck must i be fulfilling yours?!!!
what to boast in front of ur friends?
to use me as a legazy of how you "nurtured" me to turn out how i will be in the future?!!
you fucking dunt help me in anyway... its like living the life you wanted... the life you will never have... and the life that i dunt wish to have...
a different me totally... you're creating a "you" into me...
and you really want me to quit sch and like just work?
AS A TEACHER WITH QUALIFICATIONS ONLY OF THAT AN O LVL STUDENT?
im working cause i want to fund my camera in which you never will buy for me...
i love taking pictures!! but a camera phone and a compact dunt help my adrenaline rush of taking pictures... like really... i dunt feel like connected with the picture...
when im handling a dslr it really connects to me... the picture comes out real rather than a dream...
i just wanna work to fund my camera to splurge on things i want to buy when you cant afford.. to live a life independently... and who noes i'll be like financially free!!!!!!!!!!
im not going to be a burden to you..
if you want me to get away from ur freaking life i can like simply kill myself... and im not afraid of death cause death means im free from you and you are free from me... like seriously...
and answering to god?
my answer is this... i have had my patience tested to the limit.. i have been mutilated by him i lost my sense of pride because of him... and he seems not to be humane....
im not god nor the prophet... im just a plain human... i can never be too patient... i can endure the pain in the heart that he gives me.. i just really feel my heart is stabbed by a knife millions of times... and i believe part of it is because of what i did...
to try to get his attention.. to feel loved... to have more time with him... a lil bit of affection wouldn't hurt right sir? right?
DAD IM REALLY SICK OF UR WAYS... I DUNT WISH TO END MY LIFE BUT IF I MUST TO RUN AWAY FROM LIFE... IM GLAD TO TAKE ALL THE PUNISHMENT GOD HAS FOR ME...
CAUSE I KNOW I CAN FEEL THE PAIN THAT HURT ME MORE IS UR ACTIONS!
MUSIC TO THE
HEART
HEART
under construction!
will update when i have time!
SCREAM!!
THAT profile
im approximately 167m
my weight is 55kg
Im 18 going 19
AND i do not have any history of medical complications
the bad side of me is
hot tempered..
sarcastic as always
im crazy
i do hold little grudges
i hate the conception of me being lonely and all
BUT I DO HAVE A GOOD SIDE
INDIE ROCK AND ROLL!
im someone who's willing to cry with you when you're down
i can give good advice
im always there for anyone
goodbye
syAfIqAh!
nUrUl fArAh AthIrAh lEE!
hUssAInI
AnA
IdA dElUnA
nOrA
AzyfAh
Indah
dEbbIE
Nur Fareena!
mAstUrA
nUrIll hAnnAh
jyOthI
zIEqAh
kAt
dIAn fArhAnAh
lIl mIss nAnA
Its "nAd" bItch
rAhmAn ROCKER!
haba
history
February 2007. March 2007. April 2007. May 2007. June 2007. July 2007. September 2007. October 2007. November 2007. December 2007. January 2008. February 2008. March 2008. April 2008. June 2008. July 2008. August 2008. December 2008. January 2009. February 2009. March 2009. April 2009. May 2009. June 2009. July 2009. August 2009. September 2009. October 2009. November 2009. January 2010. May 2010. June 2010. August 2012.



